Spouse or Couple
Couples planning for long-term care should discuss individual preferences and goals for the future. Compare thoughts to see if both partners have the same priorities or goals. Discuss these preferences and make compromises if necessary.
Examples:
- Mary feels overwhelmed keeping the big house and wants to move to an assisted living apartment, but Bill wants to stay in their own home no matter how their health changes.
- Liz wants to move close to their daughter for mutual help, but John always dreamed of moving to a senior community in Florida.
Sharing dreams and plans for future long-term care needs is important. Don’t assume your partner has the same ideas you have. Take time to do this while both partners are still able to discuss the plans. Keep in mind, when one partner becomes more dependent, changes in the relationship can be stressful for both. This involves the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship along with the balance of a partnership sharing chores or tasks. Use these questions to help start your discussion.
Planning Together
Each partner should answer the following questions. Click on the Planning Togetherlink in the right-hand column to print out the questions. Then compare your answers and discuss your thoughts and feelings. Talk about possible compromise together.
- When I think about long-term care for myself and/or us, I would prefer:
- My reasons are:
- The last option I would want to consider is:
- Because:
Compare your answers with your partner.
- Where are similarities?
- What are our differences?
- How can we compromise to find the plan most pleasing to us a couple?