Role Reversal
One of the most common experiences in changing relationships is role-reversal. Adults often find themselves caring for someone who spent many years nurturing and caring for them and now the roles have turned around. Or spouses find that long-established roles in the partnership change.
Such issues might cause stress for family members.
Do you see reversal of roles or responsibilities in your situation? Or do you see a potential for it in the future?
Here are some examples of how role reversals could impact relationships:
- Power struggles may occur over decision making, financial issues or just who is in control! Parents may not want adult children to be involved in their finances or to make decisions for them.
- Both the caregiver and care-receiver may feel uncomfortable in the reversed roles. It may not seem “normal” to them. In many cases, personal care such as assistance in bathing or dressing may be very uncomfortable.
- The caregiver may not feel competent in the new role – for example if a husband has to take over meal preparation when he never learned to cook!
- Adult children sometimes feel they are now “parenting” their own parent. It is important to remember that even though the roles have changes, the parent is NOT a child but an adult with lifelong experiences. Encourage independence as long as possible and avoid taking over too soon.
When you think of situations such as these, it can help you to see the importance of planning ahead for long-term care. When a plan is made before a time of crisis, issues can be addressed with less stress. What would you do if a crisis occurs? Do you know what resources are available? Everyone can contribute to creating the plan or making decisions.
Even when families get along well, stressful times can bring out strong emotions.
