Plan Together

One way families can work together to plan long-term care or make other important decisions is to hold a family meeting.

Some might say, “That won’t work in our family – everyone would get in an argument!” If there is a history of conflict or you have concerns, use a professional to facilitate the meeting. This might be a counselor, professional clergy or other social service provider. Many agencies offer such services.

Ideally a family conference should be held before a time of crisis occurs. In this way, family members can all have a chance to express their feelings before an accident or illness places additional stress on relationships. When planning for long-term care, holding a family conference in advance will help the care-receiver be able to express preferences and wishes.

A family meetingcan be helpful in making decisions and resolving problems. Some other tips to remember when families talk together:

Help the care-receiver feel valued. Include her or him in decision making when possible. Remember that a decision will more likely be accepted when one feels ownership in making that choice.
Trust and respect each other. You don’t have to agree but remember that each person has the right to their own opinion and feelings. And you have the right to yours.
Resolve conflict. If conflict arises, acknowledge the disagreement and work to resolve the issues in a positive manner.
Forgive the past and concentrate on the present. Don’t allow old grudges or negative feelings to interfere with current issues. Accept individuals as they are today and move on together as a family.